Alone

Sigh...My eyes are as swollen as a goldfish's. My dear went for his trip already since last sat. Recently im in a extremely terrible mood. Perhaps stressed at work and stressed over my relationship. There is no big problem in my relationship, but just tt i also dunno why im very jittery.
These few days being alone, i tried to do all things to divert my attention, so i'll not remember im alone. Actually to alot of people, this is no big deal. Yes, i also thought so. But i realised i'm wrong. The fear of me being alone was embedded deep inside my sleeping memory for years. Now it has awakened. I realised that i've been so scared of being thrown alone, like what had happened a few years back. I thought i've forgotten, i've healed completely. But, im terribly WRONG. The wound is still there.
He called back from taiwan last night, i'm supposed to be happy. But i got agitated over a little comment, and i broke down without him knowing. I cried and cried till i fall asleep. I rather he don't call back, i rather be alone. I kept telling myself i can be strong. It's no big deal. But this fear is so familiar. I told him don't call me back, just leave me alone, and i will be better. If he don't call, don't msg me, at least i can forget that i'm alone. I know i'm deceiving myself, but at least time flies faster, and i can be stronger. By showing his concern for me, i became vulnerable. Too vulnerable. A bad incident before made me even more scared of loneliness. How do i get past? Also by deceiving myself. Do all things to divert my attention, be busy every single day, in this way i wont have time to think. Sorry to him. real sorry.

Kids' hearts are always innocent

Yipeeee! Today is labour day and its pulic holiday!! But now its going to be over soon...Had a gathering with my friends and i had a fun time, I adored them soo much. But Christ going to Shanghai with her bf soon on 14th May and i feel a bit lonely. Wonder when can i see her again coz her bf posted there to work and in short term she wont come back. Sobzz...Sigh why my good friends are all leaving one by one? I hope i can leave too. It's so boring here. Today Cyn was telling me an interesting story and i feel i should share with others.

One day as she was teaching her K2 students in class she overheard this conversation. Students A, B, C and D were sitting together. Suddenly student B called her "Miss Khoo! Miss Khoo! A scold bad word!"

B was echoing in a taunting manner at A "Asshole asshole!"

C looked blur and asked innocently " What is asshole?"

D answered quickly "You stupid la! It's a petrol kiosk!" (Esso)

After listening to this story we had a good laugh. Kids are always innocent at heart.

Screwed up weekend

OMG! I woke up at 645am today to go school for child minding and now im sooo tired. Still sick, but its a SAT! Today is supposed to be a day for me to unwind and relax. Yest night also but coz i need to wake up early today, so i had to slp early last nite. Today im too tired to have fun.. How boring and stressed up coz i still have tonnes of things to complete.... haix... Wish hols come faster. boy gg overseas soon n i'll be left alone to sweat it out while he is enjoying the time of his life. How pathetic...=..(

Flu flu go away

Pootr me! Am so sick today..feel myself dyin soon. After getting better on one illness now caught another. Kept coughing and flu. SObzzz... Now i feel fever coming up. Pray hard i can get well soon. Haven't been happy since a few weeks ago and i also dunno why. Cant lift my spirits up to do anything and i guess only retail therapy can help but i got no money... wat a downhill...

Time flies

Sigh... My comp at home still cant access into my blog..Wonder why and i cant write my blog as and when i feel like it. Yest i had a secondary sch gathering with my good frinds..we havent met like at least for a year, and i havent met Pearly for at least 2 years! For god's sake, are we still good frens?? Hahax but i do miss her. This bunch of frens havent changed much except pearly went to boston and came back without us knowing..
Guess what, Irene is getting married!!!! Oooh....another wedding bomb. Well Serene got married without me knowing..Some good fren she is. Boohoo. At least irene did informed us. How i envy her! I wish i can get married too..Have your own house, own space and own freeeeedom. At least this is what i had hoped for since i was 13? Sighx...How time flies.. We were such buddies for 10 years, and now she is going to be a Mrs. Well well...next one will be Liyin. This is getting scary. After i attended Cyn's wedding last yr, and rich's, i knew more will be coming. Taking about tt, where are RICH n JOY?? Buddies we have to catch up, if not the next time..well maybe rich will be a dad by then.

Dawn

Ah lian girl

DO i look like a monster? Hahax..this is the look my dearest cousin made for me when i go clubbing.. I felt i looked liked an "ah lian" though..kekex.. Nevertheless thanx to my dearest cousin cum friend.. =x