Convocation

Yeah~ My darling finally graduated!! Congratulations. But now its finally reality. Welcome to the world dear. Have to start finding a job and survive le.. keke.. Its july and my birthday is coming! But im not really looking forward to it coz it only means im a year older again.. Time just flies.. sigh.... i wonder where i will be or what i will be doing at this tim next year. I missed my dear friend christ so much recently. I wonder how is she doing in Shanghai. Hey girl pls email me when u r free. And another dear friend is Mel. I totally lost contact with her these few months. Not even a msg from her. Tried calling her but cant get through. Guess she must be in Indonesia.. Pls call me!! hahax..Miss you guys. Take care wherever u r. But i know definitely u all must be in somewhere on earth though. keke..

Holiday is over

Wow a month has already passed. I've been lookin forward to my one mth holiday and woosh it has passed. Next week my sch starts and i feel i haven't enjoyed enough yet...I just came back from Genting and KL and it was a wonderful trip. I havent shopped enough at KL coz there was not much time. But it was really an experience for me. I tried taking the LRT and monorail and boy it wasn't tt easy afterall.
Time passes real fast when u r enjoying yourself. And after i came back my mood wasnt really good, perhaps some bad little things happened. And i feel i can;t control my emotions well. Im attending a workshop on Buddhism and i always felt better after every session. It made me realised and reflect on the things i've nv thought before.
Well beings do suffer here, perhaps we did not realise we personalized alot of things. We personalized things because we are all self-centred. If we do not force something to belong to us, we won't feel upset even we lost it. Life and death are just part and parcel of life, and if we don't take it in our stride, the one who will feel miserable is ourselves. This is not just religion, but it is something i feel about our way of life.

Alone

Sigh...My eyes are as swollen as a goldfish's. My dear went for his trip already since last sat. Recently im in a extremely terrible mood. Perhaps stressed at work and stressed over my relationship. There is no big problem in my relationship, but just tt i also dunno why im very jittery.
These few days being alone, i tried to do all things to divert my attention, so i'll not remember im alone. Actually to alot of people, this is no big deal. Yes, i also thought so. But i realised i'm wrong. The fear of me being alone was embedded deep inside my sleeping memory for years. Now it has awakened. I realised that i've been so scared of being thrown alone, like what had happened a few years back. I thought i've forgotten, i've healed completely. But, im terribly WRONG. The wound is still there.
He called back from taiwan last night, i'm supposed to be happy. But i got agitated over a little comment, and i broke down without him knowing. I cried and cried till i fall asleep. I rather he don't call back, i rather be alone. I kept telling myself i can be strong. It's no big deal. But this fear is so familiar. I told him don't call me back, just leave me alone, and i will be better. If he don't call, don't msg me, at least i can forget that i'm alone. I know i'm deceiving myself, but at least time flies faster, and i can be stronger. By showing his concern for me, i became vulnerable. Too vulnerable. A bad incident before made me even more scared of loneliness. How do i get past? Also by deceiving myself. Do all things to divert my attention, be busy every single day, in this way i wont have time to think. Sorry to him. real sorry.

Kids' hearts are always innocent

Yipeeee! Today is labour day and its pulic holiday!! But now its going to be over soon...Had a gathering with my friends and i had a fun time, I adored them soo much. But Christ going to Shanghai with her bf soon on 14th May and i feel a bit lonely. Wonder when can i see her again coz her bf posted there to work and in short term she wont come back. Sobzz...Sigh why my good friends are all leaving one by one? I hope i can leave too. It's so boring here. Today Cyn was telling me an interesting story and i feel i should share with others.

One day as she was teaching her K2 students in class she overheard this conversation. Students A, B, C and D were sitting together. Suddenly student B called her "Miss Khoo! Miss Khoo! A scold bad word!"

B was echoing in a taunting manner at A "Asshole asshole!"

C looked blur and asked innocently " What is asshole?"

D answered quickly "You stupid la! It's a petrol kiosk!" (Esso)

After listening to this story we had a good laugh. Kids are always innocent at heart.

Screwed up weekend

OMG! I woke up at 645am today to go school for child minding and now im sooo tired. Still sick, but its a SAT! Today is supposed to be a day for me to unwind and relax. Yest night also but coz i need to wake up early today, so i had to slp early last nite. Today im too tired to have fun.. How boring and stressed up coz i still have tonnes of things to complete.... haix... Wish hols come faster. boy gg overseas soon n i'll be left alone to sweat it out while he is enjoying the time of his life. How pathetic...=..(

Flu flu go away

Pootr me! Am so sick today..feel myself dyin soon. After getting better on one illness now caught another. Kept coughing and flu. SObzzz... Now i feel fever coming up. Pray hard i can get well soon. Haven't been happy since a few weeks ago and i also dunno why. Cant lift my spirits up to do anything and i guess only retail therapy can help but i got no money... wat a downhill...

Time flies

Sigh... My comp at home still cant access into my blog..Wonder why and i cant write my blog as and when i feel like it. Yest i had a secondary sch gathering with my good frinds..we havent met like at least for a year, and i havent met Pearly for at least 2 years! For god's sake, are we still good frens?? Hahax but i do miss her. This bunch of frens havent changed much except pearly went to boston and came back without us knowing..
Guess what, Irene is getting married!!!! Oooh....another wedding bomb. Well Serene got married without me knowing..Some good fren she is. Boohoo. At least irene did informed us. How i envy her! I wish i can get married too..Have your own house, own space and own freeeeedom. At least this is what i had hoped for since i was 13? Sighx...How time flies.. We were such buddies for 10 years, and now she is going to be a Mrs. Well well...next one will be Liyin. This is getting scary. After i attended Cyn's wedding last yr, and rich's, i knew more will be coming. Taking about tt, where are RICH n JOY?? Buddies we have to catch up, if not the next time..well maybe rich will be a dad by then.

Dawn

Ah lian girl

DO i look like a monster? Hahax..this is the look my dearest cousin made for me when i go clubbing.. I felt i looked liked an "ah lian" though..kekex.. Nevertheless thanx to my dearest cousin cum friend.. =x

Our story

Last Sunday as i was packing my stuff, i chanced upon a card written to me by my boy.. It was sent to me during the Christmas season in year 2000. Oh my, that was 7 yrs back.. It brought back a lot of memories, of us during our jc days. Of those i cant rem much about him though..hahax,.. The only thing is i remembered how much i had hurt him then.

He mentioned in his card tt our r/s was like a sine curve (what a way to describe?), with regular ups and downs. And now i know how he must have felt during tt time, his heartache and helplessness. Little that he know, the reason of why i blew hot and cold towards him is not to hurt him. He must have had felt confused and hurt, but i really had no choice then. I did not want to lead him on, that was why i deliberately drifted apart from him, from a dear friend. It hurt me too. In the process, i hurt him so much and this guilt has been weighing on my mind till this very day.

We knew each other since we were 17. 2 young hearts, 2 innocent souls met during the orientation in jc. We were in the same OG, and we ended up having countless things to chat about. As time passed, the boy fell in love with the girl. Boy liked girl, but girl did not reciprocate. A sad love story with no ending was created. Girl was in love with a flirt and was hurt so badly. Boy's heart was in pain, but he kept to himself and consoled the girl. The girl must have been blind, so blinded that she did no even see a true heart beside her all along. All she did was to drift apart from the boy.

6 years passed by.. The girl lost contact with the boy all this while. They never chat again, never went go together again. The boy did not even have the girl's contact. One day, girl sent a msg to her old friends, including him. She did not know if he changed his number already. Boy was exhilarated. They meet again, chat again, went out again. Boy fell out of love, girl also fell out of love. 2 sad souls, on 1 same boat confided with each other. Boy fell in love with the girl again, and this time, girl reciprocates. Now boy loves girl, girl loves boy. Ending? Nobody knows. Only heaven can decide on their fate...

Stress coming in.

Phew... The weather today is so unpredictable..Kept raining and stopping and rain again..It really gets me irritated.. Next week the P coming for observation and everyone gets so jittery.. Makes me even more irriated.. Stress is addin up with every moment. My darlings in school are acting up one by one too..Sigh..Whatever it is they are still my little darlings.. I still LOVE them!

A super tiring day

Another tiring day in school....Yawns. Wonder how come everyday after school i can be this tired. Zzz... After browsing through a friend's blog, I became extremely interested in creating my own first PERSONALIZED blog. Hahax.. As I'm writing my blog my darling is blow-drying my hair.. Yawns, shall edit my blog next time.

HIP HIP HOORAY for my FIRST DAY at blogging!